Okay, I don't know where else to vent

[katiemack Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close katiemack]

I know, I know, it's a lifestyle choice, and an adult has rights to choose, blah, blah and blah....but I just have heard so much this week that I have to vent.

First, a dear friend, who has chosen to smoke all his life is having pieces of his body snipped, scraped and removed in chunks as the doctors continue to find cancer, first in his bladder, then his lungs, now his kidneys. The pain he suffers each time is enormous, and his wife is just about wrung dry.

Then two weeks ago, I get the news: my godson's father, 61 years old, has a cold for three months, and finally the doctors admit him for tests, and lo and behold, the 45 years of smoking he has done has damaged all systems....his legs have no circulation, they think they will amputate, then no, they won't...they will give him meds, he starts throwing clots, and they discover he has an aneurysm on his aorta, they then decide to go in after it, and find he needs quadruple bypass....after suffering for 4 days, on life support, he is finally released to the Lord, leaving behind wife, son and grandchildren to wonder how come smoking was so important to him.

Then there is the cousin and his wife....he has cancer in terminal stages, and his wife has been treated for colon cancer....both smoked since they were in their teens, and relished the smoking. Now, both of them look 100 years old, and they are barely 70.

My godfather, smoked and drank....a great combo....he loved cigars too....the result, his last years (died at age 74)....mouth and throat cancer, they cut his tongue to a tiny stub, and the pain he suffered in those last days was unbearable for my aunt to witness.

My brother-in-law, gleefully bragged how he smoked Lucky Strike no filters, and now he has an implanted defibrillator in his heart, diabetes, and can barely keep out of depression....again, in his 60s.

The health costs are enormous, but the cost of watching people you love and care about, to watch them suffer.....it is hard to describe. You feel such heartache and anger all mixed in.....smoking is their choice, they told you....but now, you have no choice but to watch them suffer in pain and see their loss of dignity as their bodies show what cancer takes.

So, if you smoke, maybe you can rationalize it, but damn if I can understand how you can gamble with the facts.....smoking kills, little by little, and in awful ways.

[falmouth3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close falmouth3]

Oh, Catherine, such sad stories. These people did it to themselves, but now the family and friends must endure the sadness and loneliness. That's such a terrible thing to bear.

Luckily I know almost no one who smokes anymore. We've made it so difficult and expensive to smoke in MA that I guess people have given it up. Never had even one cigarette in my life. I remember my parents telling me from an early age that it was dirty and disgusting. Except for my mother's father, who died when I was 5, we only had one relative who smoked. She gave it up cold-turkey when during routine surgery, her heart stopped on the table. Luckily they were able to revive her.

Wishing the best for your surviving friends and relatives.

Sue

[shaggy Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close shaggy]

My dad died of emphysema in his early 60's after about 8 years of being an invalid.My mom is 96 and still smokes (but at 96 who cares) but she is dying of emphysema and copd. If anyone could see my moms legs they would NEVER SMOKE!!! Hospice is involved and she says she is not in pain but believe me when I say I'm in pain when I watch her. I just want to cry.

I have never smoked a cigarette in my life and never will. I won't date men who smoke. Who wants to kiss an ashtray?

I'm with you on this one. It's awful. shaggy

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

My stepson in his forties who smokes had a stoke recently. I smoked from about 16 on, but quit cigarettes in 1978. Now it's just a pipe or a cigar and someday that too will be gone.

Smoking is not the only thing that causes cancer.

[dougp26364 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dougp26364]

I get to see it every day I go into work. I'm a intensive care cardiac nurse. My father died at 52 from cancer. He smoked and drank heavily. The sad part is he was one who could set a pack of cigarettes down and walk away from them for months. He just enjoyed smoking. Mom died of complications from surgery. The surgery was in part caused by complications from smoking and the complications from the surgery were caused both from smoking and drinking.


For the life of me I'll never understand what ever made someone dry out a weed, crush it, roll it in paper or stick it in a pipe and smoke it. Alcohol and other mood altering drugs I can understand but smoking doesn't seem to do anything like that. Once hooked you need to keep smoking to calm your nerves or take the edge off from the withdrawl symptoms. It's a very nasty drug that is so highly adictive that it's very difficult for anyone to stop.

I can't tell you how many patients I get back in because they quit taking the drugs necessary to keep their cardiac stents open. Their excuse is they can't afford the drugs. The odd thing is the can afford the pack or more a day habit they can't kick. They'll pay $3 to $5 for a pack of smokes 365 days per year but they won't pay for their necessary medications that would save their lives and save them another hospital bill.

The longer I live, the more I feel Darwin was wrong.

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

Let us not forget that this country was probably permanently colonized because we had that weed and could grow and export it.

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

I'm hearing you loud and clear. Smoking is a very selfish habit and yet it is the hardest thing ever to let go of. I have only come close to quitting once in 30 years.

I'll start trying to quit again now with a goal of New Years, with some help from Chantix which I just filled and in the house and my friends. and the men in my life who have recently taken up the "you've gotta quit" theme.

Someone should have a chat with the healthcare plans about why they will pay and pay for cancer treatment but won't pay for drugs, patches, gum, etc to assist in quitting. My prescription cost $90 to fill.

[falmouth3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close falmouth3]

Good luck Lawren!

Sue

[Gil Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gil]

Hummmm

Gosh - Lawren ----- along with having a 'nice saddle sitter' - a smoker - hummmmmm......

I've also been 'fight'n' the evil nicotine guy for a few generations -----

[katiemack Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close katiemack]

Tony, you are so right...and, of course, I realize more things cause cancer other than smoking, but the one thing that all of these people have in common is smoking, and an absolute dedication to it, an almost bewildering euphoric love affair with their "best friend"...the first smoke of the day, the last smoke before bed, the smoke after sex, the smoke with the cup of coffee, the smoke while talking on the phone, the smoke while telling a fish story, the smoke that makes that scotch so smooth....each of these folks have a perception that that stick was their best friend who didn't talk back, who just gave them what they needed when they asked for it.



I could add the other stories of the non-smokers in my life who have leukemia and multiple myeloma and breast cancer, and how the doctors say "we believe there are external environmental causes to your disease," but of course, these tragedies have their own storyline. My mother died of multiple myeloma. She never smoked a day in her life.

Cancer is the natural progress of an assault on one's body....I can get cancer, even though I don't smoke.

If I smoke, I increase the chances of getting cancer...the facts support that conclusion.

And it isn't just lung cancer, though so many people wrongly assume that this is the norm. Smoking weakens every single component of our constitution. It weakens the capillaries, it causes wrinkles because it is dehydrating your largest organ, your skin....it delivers toxins faster than an IV delivers life-sustaining fluids. And its nicotine does have a narcotic effect, there is no doubt.

Family and friends can beg a smoker to quit, and I know that many a smoker will always "wish" to kick the habit, but it is always "tomorrow" and excuses like "I just can't do it with all that is happening around me right now." And then there are the dedicated who say "well, too bad, I love it" or the self-rationalizing who bravely declare "you gotta die of something."

But to watch the cruel way cancer invades and picks over vital organs, to hear the chug-chug-chink of an oxygen tank pumping air into sick lungs, or to look into a now cancer-ravaged skeletal face of a loved one, whose bright eyes twinkle in sunk-in eye sockets, it is just too much!

We cannot know what outside environmental poisons we are unwittingly exposed to each day, but when we know that putting a cigarette into our mouths on a constant basis will monumentally increase our chances of dying a hard and painful death....that just makes me want to cry.

I know some of you personally, and some I know only thru this medium, but each of you is important to me in your uniqueness, but even more so, you are so very precious to those who love you, depend on you, and need you for longer than you know.

Lawren, I do hope you get to quit, and I agree there should be support provided for people thru their insurance companies, but it shouldn't stop you...if a prescription is $90, how much do the cigarettes cost? And eventually, the prescription will be unnecessary. I wish you all the help of every angel available.

And for all who want to quit, I am here cheering you on. Do it for the people who love you, do it for the future you want to see.

They say for every year you have quit smoking, you gain several....but there is a tipping point, and the more one delays, the more time one's organs are assaulted.

My heart is aching for my godson, who lost his Dad...he lost his younger brother 14 years ago, and could not express the sorrow, and now, losing his Dad, he is having such a difficult time. He had the courage to watch his Dad that last day, and be with him when they took him off life support. But his heart is breaking, and I just know that if his father, knowing now the pain his son feels, had the chance to go back 45 years earlier, he would never take that first puff.

[dougp26364 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dougp26364]

Let us not forget that this country was probably permanently colonized because we had that weed and could grow and export it.

That's true but, in that last several hundred years you'd think we could have given it up completely. Tobacco is one of the most addictive substance on the planet and it causes untold amounts of damage, physically, mentally and monitarily. There is no debate that smoking is bad for your health and those around you.

Not only is it bad for the person smokings health it's not so great for the rest of us. Last summer two houses in the neighboorhood across the street were burnt to the point of total loss because a smoker carelessly tossed a cigarette butt out the window of their car. There are always a couple of grass fires started because of tossed cigarette butts.

I've always stood by smokers right to smoke since it's not against the law. It doesn't keep me from wondering exactly why anyone would start other than as a child to try to "look cool" or because "my parents were smokers" and then why anyone would continue once they knew what harm they were doing to their bodies except that it's such an addictive substance.

I have a step-son who is a smoker. He got started by peer pressure despite our attempts to keep him from smoking. In the beginning he would always say "it's no big deal. I can quit anytime I want." Of course now he can't. He's hooked pretty darn well.

[grest Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close grest]

It ends up being bad, smoking I mean, almost any way you look at it, and hurts so many people. Good luck and fortitude to those who are trying to kick the habit ( I managed to do it 30 years ago, with much support), and my heart goes out to those who suffer the loss of loved ones as a resultof the damage caused by smoke, first-, second-, or any hand smoke.
Connie

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

I do not feel the addiction I had for cigarettes and have no trouble other than breaking a habit in stopping smoking the pipe. Cigars are purely optional and I only smoke them when I work outside or socializing outdoors. I have believed for years that the additives in cigarettes are more of an addition than nicotine itself and may also be more of a carcinogen. Would you believe formaltdehyde ?
I even avoid some cigars that are not all natural and shy away from any brand with the word Flor in it (I think the sweeper may collect the filler).

[katiemack Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close katiemack]

I realize some find quitting the habit easier than others, and that is why it is such a tough topic for many. Whether one finds it easy or hard to quit, it is just a side issue, for no matter what the process of quitting, while one is smoking, that is what eventually effects one's own health or others around us.

I am not unsympathetic to the level of addiction, or the pain in the effort for quitting for some.

My thoughts are more born in the pain of the suffering I have seen. People I love and care about are no longer themselves. This is just the truth I have witnessed and lived.

Each person is their own best guide, and I am not a judge....but in my heart of hearts, I wish smoking wouldn't be practiced, as it is a destructive thing.

If a teen who wishes to smoke could see the fast-forward of their adult life, and the outcome of 40 years of smoking, I wonder if that would have any impression? The vibrancy of a young man, whose youthful body was strong and tall, turned into what is now my dear friend so many years later....so very thin, skin tone yellow, eyes sunken, rib cage sticking at odd angles, feet sore and swollen, pain ripping up his leg, nearly crippling him, pieces of his bladder, kidneys and lungs torn out with each "procedure"...this man was a colonel in the army, strong and in command, and now, he seems so fragile.

Well, I appreciate your comments, and hope you understand that what prompted me to write this is that too many dear ones are going under, and the culprit who appears to be the common perpetrator is a cigarette.

And yes, Tony, formaldehyde is a side agent for sure, and the papers are laced with unknowns as are the "delivery agents"...for a peek into this, I recommend a wonderful movie about what the Tobacco Industry has done..."The Insider" starring Al Pacino and Russell Crowe. These additives are part of the addictive training agents of smoking....and a young man who wants to be cool, doesn't stand an easy chance when he wants to quit.

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

I'm with you Katiemack - I lost my Dad to lung & pharynx cancer many years ago. He was even smoking at the end with the smoke exiting from his trach.


To add insult to injury, the burden of the costs in caring for folks who do damage to themselves in all sorts of ways (I'm including those who won't wear helmets, obesity, etc.) are borne by themselves and others. Yes, one has rights not to wear a helmet, to drink their liver/kidneys to oblivion, to eat/starve themselves to death, smoke until their lungs cannot aerate - true, medical diagnoses here , however, does the average taxpayer have to pay ?
As an occupational health NP, I have heard that, on the average, a company ends up paying more than $500/year on employees who smoke than employees who do not. The costs are added medical costs, time lost to coughs/cold/emphysema/short & long term disabilities.

I've been mired in this healthcare dilema for so long.