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Thread: A couple of good jokes......................

  1. #1
    Senior Member susieq's Avatar
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    A couple of good jokes......................

    At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

    While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,?”I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

    “Good question ,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”

    “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

    But on he went, in his obnoxious way.?”What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?” “Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”

    “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the foreskins left over from the circumcision surgeries?”

    “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete d*ck.”

    ************************************************** ****************************************

    A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

    The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

    "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
    Perpetual Motion ~ Going Nowhere Fast!!

  2. #2
    Both very funny

  3. #3
    I like the first one. We just went through a payroll audit and the first joke made me think of the auditor.

  4. #4
    Thx for sharing!

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