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Thread: Scuba Diving Chuckles

  1. #1
    Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator lawren2's Avatar
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    Wink Scuba Diving Chuckles

    How To Fail Your Open Water Test

    * Tell your Instructor you will race him to the surface.

    * Lie face down and motionless while holding your breath.

    * Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.

    * Your Instructor asks "You don't want to do the buddy breathing because you have what?"

    * You ask your Instructor which fin goes on which foot.

    * You ask your Instructor if that was his mask under your tank.

    * You tell your Instructor there is no way you can lift a cylinder with 3000 pounds of air in it.

    * When asked for your dive plan, you hand over a bundle of travel brochures.


    You Need Buoyancy Control When

    * You rely on the silt trail you always stir up to find the shot line at the end of the dive.

    * You insist that you never wear fins because it makes it more difficult to walk on the bottom.

    * The only place you can hover is at the surface.

    * On ascents, your entire body clears the surface of the water.

    * You use 1000 psi for breathing and 2000 psi for your BC.

    * You are certain you went for one dive, but your computer has logged three.

    * You think being neutral in the water means that you don't fight with your buddy.


    Your Dive Buddy Hates You If

    * He gives you the "wait here" sign and you are still on the boat.

    * He "forgets" to close your dry suit zipper.

    * When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate "I'll get you some" and swims off.

    * When you give him the out of air signal, he passes you his snorkel.

    * You give him the "OK" signal and he gives you the finger.

    * He spits in your mask for you, but you haven't taken it off yet.

    * He shows up with a set of tables based on his own algorithm "that's WAY better".

    * He loudly proclaims that safety stops are for "wossies".
    Lawren
    ------------------------
    There are many wonderful places in the world, but one of my favourite places is on the back of my horse.
    - Rolf Kopfle

  2. #2
    * When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate "I'll get you some" and swims off.

    * When you give him the out of air signal, he passes you his snorkel.

    * You give him the "OK" signal and he gives you the finger.

    Im going to remember the snorkel bit !!!! Its too bad that I usually run low on air before my buddy, so it might be a while to actually use the bit.

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